Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Put A Sock In It

So, I finally decided it was time for me to graduate to knitting socks. I thought I was ready, I really did. I've crocheted so many socks, slippers, sandals, hard could it be? The second I asked myself this question was the very second that Destiny said "you had to ask, didntcha??"
So, off I run to AC Moore & purchase myself the tools of the knitting sock trade. For those sock knitters out there, this is the part where you cringe & say "She didn't buy metal DPN's now did she?" Yes, she did. For those of you who aren't knitters & just read these blog to see what fiber trouble I've gotten myself into, DPN's stands for Double Pointed Needles aka bane of my existence as a beginning knitter. I bought myself the Susan Bates DPN's thinking (incorrectly) that since I loved their straights I would adore the DPN's. Once again Destiny said "muahah, think again, biotch." Metal DPN's are essentially these slippery slidy POINTY needles that just refuse to keep yarn wrapped around it. Experienced knitters can make these puppies sing. I, however, was only capable of making them barf.
After an hour of finger cramping DPN fun, I figured I should probably get some help. Off I surf & am overjoyed when I find this marvelous tutorial on using DPN's. Within 15 minutes I'm whimpering. My fingers just refuse to work that way. Off I trot to the place where I've found almost all of my knitting help -Amy will not fail me.
She failed me. I tried, I really did. I just didn't get it. At the end of 2 hours I wanted to commit hari kari with the damned DPN or at the very least find that fucking Susan Bates & stab her in the face with her own DPN's. I gave up. ME, the Nellie Forbush of fiber. I said "screw this. I'll buy socks @ WalMart like every other redneck in Berks County."
Fast forward to last week. I had to put Simba to sleep, my period was a week early & my blender broke just as I was mixing up my Mudslide. Crap week to say the least. After stopping by the vet to pay the Gross National Debt for Simba, I needed a pick me up & asked DH to take me to a new LYS. That was when it happened.
LYS. 4 miles from home. Stuff on sale. Airy & open. Nothing smelled like food (isn't it funny how most LYS smell like week old Moo Goo Gai Pan?), the owner was friendly & most definitely NOT a yarn snob. I spent $30 on some Glitter Alpaca and was about to leave when she said the magic words....
"we're having a sock class this Saturday"
I stopped, turned, wiped the drool from my mouth & said..."I'm an idiot with DPN's"
"Well, this is on 2 circulars. It's MUCH easier."
Sold. Where do I sign up? I'm so there.
Fast forward to Saturday morning, 9 AM. I'm on vacation & have been dedicating my life to sloth this past week but I'm up early for THIS. Not only that but so is DH. AND he's offered to go with me. Am I lucky or WHAT??
And so we begin. There's 4 of us...we're making the Footie from the recent issue of Creative Knitting. OK, so really it's a Ped....but Footie sounds so much more knitt-ish.
Anyway, I was the stupidist one in the class. I just couldn't grasp this whole 2 circular thing. Then finally, the world's greatest knitting instructor, Bev, very gently said "honey, it's just like crocheting, just keep turning it around."

Ahhh. NOW I get it. And so did the rest of the people in the class. Not only did we do socks on circulars BUT we did the heel with short row shaping. Yup. Me. Knitting idiot. Class ran over by about 2 hours & no one cared-we were all focused on these damn socks.
I give you footie so far:



(and for the geek knitter in all of us, I'm using "1776" by Schoeller & Stahl. It's a superwash wool & self stripes sooo nicely but OMG, was it super small to work with on a 1st project).
I am bound & determined to finish it. I may not make both but I MUST finish this one. Perhaps some patriotic amputee is in need of a Ped.

No comments: