Monday, October 23, 2006

From The Mouths of Babes #2

Our house liked the whole question & answer thing so we're back with #2. #3 is on the board now & we're all taking turns with doing the asking. Danielle thought of this week's question & Wow....was it a doozy:

If you could be president for a whole week what would you change in society?

Wow, pretty deep for a 16 year old .... their answers blew me away. Danielle said:

I would change the way we are treating Iraq. (Who says kids aren't aware of world events?!)

Mine was pretty wordy (I figured I had a week to get stuff done):
Fair warning-this one's llooonnnngggg (or just skip ahead to Day 7-that's the best day)

Since I have a week, I’m planning on getting more than one thing done (what can I say-I’m an overachiever!):

DAY ONE: I’m the Commander in Chief which puts me in charge of all military. As my 1st decision, ALL troops stationed outside the USA are ordered stateside. Troops in Iraq head home 1st –the fact that our troops are being killed by Iraqi’s pretty much tells me we’re not welcome at this party anymore. We’ll be taking our toys & going home.
DAY TWO: Close all of our borders. All of them. If you want to leave, fine, have a nice day. Coming back, though, will be tough. You must be able to prove you are a LEGAL US Citizen to re-enter this country. Don’t feel like you should have to prove that you’re a legal citizen? Tough nuts. Go to North Korea – they could use someone to test radiation poisoning on. (By the way, those troops that just came home? They’ll be standing guard along our borders to make sure no one gets in without permission). That same day English will be declared as the official language of the USA. All government forms, information, directions, etc will from now on be in English only. Don’t understand how to apply for Food Stamps because it’s not in your language? Learn. My ancestors did (my grandfather could read & speak 7 languages with a 3rd grade education; the least you could do is learn how to speak the language of the country in which you now LIVE). Anyone found to be here illegally gets no free passes. Go. Leave. Now. We’re sending you home. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
DAY THREE: Cut off all foreign aid. Yes, all. To everyone. Charity begins at home and our “home” here needs some serious work. At the same time, declare all foreign debts owed to the US as “paid in full.” No one gets anymore money. Any private citizen can donate any monies they want to any cause they want but public funds won’t be used. We’ve helped the world for a long time-we need a financial break.
DAY FOUR: Cap the price of a barrel of crude oil at a fair price. This is the most we’ll pay. That’s our final offer. Don’t like it Sheik Abdullarama? Tough. Sell it to another country that will pay your price. We’re your biggest customer ….we’ll be fair with you, you be fair with us.
DAY FIVE: Declare the death penalty unconstitutional. If you’ve received the death penalty as a sentence then it’s a good bet you’ve done something horrific. Death is too good for you. You get to suffer in jail for the rest of your life. And not some namby pamby jail either. One out in the desert with nowhere to run to, where the food is awful, the heat is ever present & the sand flies are as a big as a Collie. The Warden? My sister, Meredith (and those of you who know her know what an inhuman punishment that is). All those empty cells on Death Row? Empty them out, clean them up, remove the bars & turn them into homeless shelters. It’s not pretty but it’s warm & dry & a better place to sleep than Central Park after dark.
DAY SIX: Direct every single cabinet member, Congressman & Senator to take a pay cut of at least 40%. Cap my own Presidential Salary at $65,000. Raise the Federal Minimum Wage to $8.00/hour. Pass legislation to include an automatic annual inflationary increase in the Federal Wage level. Individual states have 12 months to raise their state minimum wage levels to meet the Federal Wage.
DAY SEVEN: Knit. Even God rested on the 7th day. I’m going to need all the rest I can get. I’m just getting started.

And, once again, Brady, who is 10 just said it all:

Make peace in the world so we wouldn't have to fight.

Well. That pretty much said it all. Damn. Kids get you every time.

1 comment:

Anne said...

Would it be ok if we came to visit, even if the borders *are* closed? We are rabble-rousing Canadians after all and you know what trouble we can cause! :D